Let me explain.
When I first decided to pursue writing seriously (as in put my all into something that might not give me any return) all I wanted was someone to tell me that I was making the right decision. I didn’t know if I was good enough at writing to make it my career choice.
My entire way of thinking was wrong, but I’ll get back to that.
What I actually needed was someone to tell me my writing sucked. Because it did, and hey sometimes if I’m in a hurry it still does. (I’ve had to delete a few blog posts due to my hastiness.)
Pretending someone is better at something than they are is detrimental to their growth, especially while learning a craft. My biggest pet peeve in workshops are when people are so nice that the person whose work is getting critiqued thinks that their work was great…when it needed a lot of work. I don’t think being rude is the answer, but I think being kind while being honest is.
Which doesn’t happen a lot to young writers. Which might be surprising, but this is my own experience, it could have been different for you. Throughout my college workshops everyone was too scared to point out the flaws in a work, and when they did it was done so nicely that it was more of a ‘maybe you could change this, but you’re fine if you don’t.”
Once, a professor stopped me from commenting on the grammar of a short story. The entire story was atrocious, but I was trying to nicely point out that the grammar was so bad it was hard to read the story. (And to be honest grammar isn’t on the top of my list to criticize.) I overheard the student later boasting about how much everyone in class loved her story. Because we weren’t honest, she saw no need to fix her story.
I kind of wish someone had told me, “hey, your writing sucks.” Not to be cruel, but to push me. I don’t believe writers are born wordsmiths and it’s just natural to them, I believe it is effort and hard work. When I was younger my writing sucked (I see that and wholly accept it now) but because no one pushed me to be better it took a lot longer for me to grow and become a better writer.
You suck at writing until you don’t. And I personally believe it’s a long road, but if you accept the fact that you haven’t written your best work, and you truly love writing, then it’ll push you because you’ll want to get better.
Before, when I wanted someone to reassure me that I was a good writer and making the right choice, I was setting myself up for disappointment. It isn’t that we should want reassurance of our skill, because skill is learned. What we need to be sure of is our love for the craft itself. If you aren’t willing to put a lot of time and energy into writing and strengthening your skill you won’t get a better result.
Now, writing as a hobby can make you a better writer, I’m only saying it will take longer. That’s fine, but if you call yourself a writer and you’re pushing toward publication, you need to continuously push yourself to get better. Don’t look for reassurance (it usually comes from people who don’t know what they’re talking about.)
It comes down to what most people will tell you- you yourself have to be your own motivator as a writer. And yes, that is one of the hardest parts of writing.
Don’t believe that you’re a great writer, believe that you have the willingness to be a great writer.
True. I think nostalgically about some short stories I’ve written and think, man, that was a good one. Until I later go back and re-read them. I did that recently to a few stories and, it’s not that they were bad, the stories were from a very immature writer. As you grow and learn, it’s good to go back and see exactly how much. Those stories were written more than ten years ago. I’ve changed. My worst downfall – passive language. It is my nemesis!
At any rate, I used to suck. Not much has changed lol. Except, like you said, willingness to accept that I’m not a natural born word-killer.
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Oh man. I’ve looked at some of my old poems from when I was like 14…and well I had to stop myself from burning them. I like to have them as a reminder that I’ve come a long way way, but still…not always fun to read. I have a short story that at the time I wrote it I thought it was so funny. Yeah now, when I look over it I just wonder what I was thinking. lol
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Great post, very true – and honest! Writing is a hard slog, draft after draft, no recognition, killing ones darlings, getting sugary compliments of little value, putting a manuscript aside for a couple of months then going back to it and saying “Wow, that certainly needs tidying up”. It’s a never ending process but a worthwhile one. A friend asked me if I was doing it for the Likes and I replied “No, it’s because I just have to write.”
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“getting sugary compliments of little value” yes, exactly. As much as I love my mother and her encouragement is appreciated, I know that she’s only doing it so I feel good about what I’m doing. It doesn’t help much in the long run.
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Yep, and as you said, the same can happen in writers groups. They don’t want to offend and “crush the writer’s hopes” but it’s doing a disservice in the long run.
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Yeah, it’s hard sometimes. I just did an online workshop because I’ve been too busy to do one in person and I was disappointed by the critiques.
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Being told “your writing sucks” sucks indeed. Although my tendency to write in rush and post the things which are often requires cold eye the other day, I wouldn’t get further without the practise. Kinda funny because my English lecturer never gave me any positive comment about my pieces, also critique the way I share the ideas. Anyway, everything you said is brilliant!
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Thanks! My English teachers were always harder on me than my writing!
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Please give your comments on mine 🙂
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Sure, I don’t mind. Which one?
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I’d be interested to hear your comments as a young person on my “About” 🙂
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I found it very interesting. I think that for an About it’s too much, I think you should actually cut to the chase in the about me and then take what you have and make it a blog post for more people to see 😊
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Thanks for taking the time to give feedback, it was very useful. 🙂
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No problem! 😊
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Reblogged this on Sketches By Nitesh.
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Now that’s some good criticism, which people like me need, yo improve ourselves more. Nice post 😊
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Thank You! I appreciate it 😊
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😊
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The best professor I ever had at college earned that title because she took the time to tell me what was wrong and what I really needed to improve on. It was A LOT of work, specifically a lot of re-writing essays to make them the best they could be. Sure, it wasn’t fun but she helped me improve more than I ever thought I could (or thought I ever needed to haha).
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Thats Awesome! I had one professor who really took the time to do that as well and I still love them for it.
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I’ll gladly tell you your writing sucks, Zarah. (grin).
I wrote this recently – which is precisely your point:
https://anonymole.wordpress.com/2017/11/03/the-role-of-a-critic/
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Ah but can you tell me something i already know? 🤔
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Ignore that uncapitalized ‘I’ 😂
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(You can edit your own comments — as well as others; commenters cannot though. fyi.)
There would be gradations of suckage no? From the massive blackhole at the center of the galaxy to the mewing pucker of a newborn kitten.
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Thanks for a reflective and oh so true post.
You wrote, “I kind of wish someone had told me, hey, your writing sucks,” in my case I knew that way before I started my blog, after all it was only supposed to be so my family would know what was going on at my remote cabin. However like many things in life outsiders started to visit and comment and before I knew it it was no longer a “family” blog. In looking back over the years even I can see a transformation in my writing from absolutely terrible to tolerable, proving if one keeps at it just maybe their writing will improve.
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Reblogged this on Marsha Maung and commented:
I’m not sure I agree with the bluntness but yeah, positive criticism can go a long way
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i find this a big problem, in that i don’t know what to say – either i get to be the Big Meanie, or i let them skip off, boasting about their skills. I used to do the slush pile at a big publishing house. I was trained at uni both to give and take good crit. To really help the writer, not to bring them down. I’ve tried saying politely a book or piece needed more work “nice idea, but for a children’s picture book, 140,000 words seems excessive”, and been abused, because their FB friends, family, and spouse said it was great. One woman even sent me the same book, 4 months later – because she believed it was great and ready for publication, and i was sure to see her talents on a second look. I’m so happy when strangers put a Like on my blog or a nice review on my books – i know it’s not just because they’re being nice.
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Yeah that’s got to be tough.
To be honest it was always easier for me to write the critique out and then give it to them, and in discussion let it go. That probably wasn’t the best approach! Lol
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Great closing line, Zarah!
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Thanks 😊
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Finding the right workshop is very hit and miss. After I finished my B.A. I floundered a bit and needed a writing group. I joined a writer’s workshop through my local library. It was terrible. Everyone just blew smoke up each other’s butts and told one another not to change any of their writing. You should think about asking a professor you really respect if they run a private workshop off-campus, or even on campus where more serious writers gather to hold real meaty workshops that will cut your work to the bone and force you to revisit your work. I got lucky in that regard; my professor in my MFA program held a workshop out of her NYC apartment. Not everyone has that luck, but seek and ye shall find a workshop that is serious in its aims. This advice and $2.95 will get you a subway ride, but I thought I’d share my thoughts anyway.
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Zara,
Thank you for the like on my post, “Stringing Us Along.” Not that I started out at a high level of craft, but I spent more time talking about being a writer than writing. I needed a sweet kick in the but to get past that. While I appreciate your point, I look at this another way. When I first studied screenwriting, I had a teacher who insisted we only critique on whether the writing worked or didn’t work. This eliminates the subjective and personal out of the equation. My fear would be pushing someone away, who might simply have more vision than their current talent. This happened to me in junior high school in relation to art.
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Hey, thanks for the blog like. I’ve just discovered your blog through it! And I totally agree that people being afraid to give constructive criticism in workshops is sooo detrimental. In my experience the best kind of work-shopping is being given lots of things to improve on, whilst still being assured your writing has potential. Recently I’ve been part of a fab writing group in which I think everyone has been made to feel that way. The feedback has been thorough, respectful and constructive.
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That’s awesome!
I’m still looking for a good group, hopefully I’ll find one soon!
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Inspiring
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Thank you! 😊
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Good – and I love the catchy title!
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Thank you!
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I think this is the best article on writing I’ve found on wordpress. I relate to the experience of over-politeness in writing workshops and have also noticed that the places reassurance comes from are often those least qualified. I’ve always much preferred criticism as much as positive notes can stroke the ego, their’s a lot more value in having attention drawn to our mistakes or to the things people dislike. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Thanks I appreciate your thoughts!
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I love the last line of this post: “Don’t believe that you’re a great writer, believe that you have the willingness to be a great writer.” That statement is so powerful in helping to shape our perspectives of ourselves 🙂
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Thank you!! 😊😊
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Well said, Zarah!
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Thank you!
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That takes me back to a few writing groups I ultimately realised were pointless for just these reasons…
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Yes! I’m currently looking for one that will be constructive 🤞
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Trying to tell me something? Does my writing suck? Any critiques?
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Haha, well I wrote this post months ago, so what do you think?
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Wow! what a wonderfully refreshing point of view. Or maybe it’s just reinforcing because it’s exactly my point of view. When I join the writers’ circle I’m currently in it was all nicey-nice, “Loved your piece thank you for sharing”, there were literal gasps around the room when I spoke up and said, “I thought it was rubbish”. Once I had their attention and explained why and how to fix it, it was okay, but the look on the woman’s face was like I’d drop-kicked her baby. Which I guess I had. But nice doesn’t help, the lessons are in defeat. Still – keep writing Zarah, I’m going to keep reading.
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Thanks, I appreciate it 😊
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I think there are levels of this. I was in a Facebook group where people would just say crap about your work, especially if you weren’t published yet. They didn’t suggest improvements, just took a big dump on it. This was pretty useless since I was looking for how to improve. I then went to critiquecircle.com and submitted a story for review and someone tore it to shreds, practically sentence by sentence, but every single line was an explanation of what was wrong. I know I’m not a great writer yet, and I like criticism (I don’t really need people blowing smoke up my ass, I already have people that do that) and when looking at a person’s story I will always make a point of explaining things that would help. That is the kind of kick in the pants people need.
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I think the best way to go is in person critique groups. That way it’s not a large group, and you get to know people and their style of writing. I did an online critique group and felt like I didn’t get anything from it because everyone loved my work, even though I knew that my work…well needed work. I definitely don’t think anyone should tear something a part, because there’s no good in that, it’s just being cruel. But criticism that comes from a motivation to help.
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Unfortunately there isn’t a group I can find in my area or I already would have joined it.
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Thank you for this post. I definitely believe in a friendly nudge or correction from time to time. 🙂
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When I taught first year writing at a university, my students were always so shocked when I let them know (kindly & with copious comments, of course) that their writing sucked. The best students I had weren’t the ones with natural talent necessarily. They were the ones who were willing to push themselves, to try new things, and to learn. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the students who wouldn’t revise…
But here’s the thing… I was one of those students who thought I was so talented that the teacher must be mistaken if I earned any grade lower than an A. (Seriously, I’m sure I was AWFUL to deal with). The professor that rocked my world (and made me a better writer and a better person) wrote so many probing comments on my papers that I couldn’t help but revise. I was so intrigued by the potential he saw in my rhetorical style and in my ability to craft an argument that I pushed myself to live up to his expectations. It’s been 20 years since I sat in a classroom with him–and one of my highest goals is to be the writer (and person) he always believed me to be.
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What’s weird is that I was the student who didn’t think I was the best, but was better than everyone else. So, as awful as it sounds, when I didn’t respect someone else’s work, I didn’t respect what they had to say about mine. It took me taking a poetry class with a professor who had a very blunt way of explaining what good writing was to realize I sucked and I was not better than anyone else- actually the contrary to that. My whole view of writing really evolved within the months I took his classes.
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Reblogged this on forty-five years and commented:
This is an article I wish I had written! It captures my thoughts exactly. Tell people, nicely, they suck, and they will get better. Sugar-coat a critique and you’re not doing them any favors.
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This was hard to read because there were so many mistakes and omissions in a piece about being a good writer. I know blogging isn’t for publisher’s eyes but you should really check your work more carefully if you are writing about good writing. I do believe in being honest to be kind. Whole words are missing and the sentences are awkward. My suggestion is to read more written work by good writers with excellent English skills and you will pick up superior skills. I believe that being a good writer means having respect for the language you are using and making sure it is as flawless as you can possibly make it. I wish you speedy progress in your writing path. Your enthusiasm will help you to achieve your goals.
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Hey, I appreciate your feedback. I wrote this months ago, and it’s a bit of a rant. I tend to be pretty loose on my posts, as well as conversational. This leads me to overuse commas and seemingly throw structure out of the window. I really don’t mind critiques, so I’ve looked back over the post.
As for the post, it’s not about good writing, it’s about critiques / critiquing. The difference is that I’m simply commenting about the fact that critique groups tend to be overly nice.
I also agree with perfecting language, but I recognize it as a process. I actually wrote a post on how I recognize that it’s my responsibility to better my grammar, not an editors.
But for my blog I don’t see the need to stare at a post for hours making sure it’s prefect. Granted, I know that means mistakes will show up in my posts.
I write posts mostly for a conversation. I’m talking to whoever decides to open the post. For this post, I never thought it would be the most popular one. If I had I would have spent more time on it. But hey, that’s life.
🙂
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Wow, great post and comments as well. Everything I considered was covered except where was the picture taken?
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Thanks! It was taken in Alaska! Most of my photos are 😂 I know that they don’t have anything to do with the posts, but they’re pretty cool. 😊
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Great article. I’d like to use your last line as a quote, if I may?
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Yes, of course!
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Write for yourself and don’t worry about what others think. There are available tools to aid in grammar, etc. The most important thing for me, as a reader, is that the content is authentic. You are a good writer so keep it up.
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Thanks, I appreciate it! 😊
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So difficult knowing how to pitch comments. So often I see poems that could be brilliant if they’d just go back and edit but how do you tactfully say?
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It’s always easier in person and if you have a hard copy of the poem. Like, I’ll take notes on the poem and then go over them. I think the only way to not be tactful is to just sat they need to edit, instead of showing them how they can make it better.
Just be nice about it. But there’s always people who say they want to be critiqued, but then get offended by everything
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Nice read. I’ve always though to myself, it’d be nice for someone to point out a mistake at some point rather than always being like, you’re so good with your words. I can take a bit of criticism, I’m not made of glass. cheers.
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Thanks! My dad always taught be not to trust the opinion of someone who only praises your work, lol now that I’m older I tend to agree.
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Reblogged this on Christine's Collection and commented:
I came across this article a week or so ago and that this blogger has some really good points. I think writing critiques are like exercise; if they don’t stretch you some, you aren’t going to get much benefit from them. I love her concluding line.
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I couldn’t agree more!
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I whole heartedly agree that honest constructive feedback is the most helpful thing for a young writer. I just think you don’t need to be abrasive or rude to get the point across. When I give feedback (and I’m not one to look at a mess and call it a masterpiece) I try keep it specific, non emotional, and non personal. I’m thorough. And I will point everything out that I see that doesn’t sit well with me but I don’t use blanket statements that are dismissive. It’s a good way to crush someone’s spirit. Give someone actual things to work on and they’ll grow. Tell them they suck or their writing sucks (without telling them why) will injure the ego but not in a way that is helpful. I also save grammar checks for the last draft
First and second drafts are often a mess of the author’s ideas mixed with story mixed with half bits of other stuff. I’d rather attack the bigger issues with plot, voice or character than discuss comma splices at the outset. So much of it changes between that first and second draft that it seems to be inefficient to go over grammar until the whole thing is more polished.
I really loved this post! Thanks so much for sharing it!
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Thanks for your comment! I agree, I don’t think being rude is helpful, but being constructive, even if that does hurt someone’s feelings, it’s not intentional.
As for grammar I pretty much never comment about it unless it is hindering understanding, if not it can wait.
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I wish there was a “love” button. Your comments are completely on point. A lot of years have passed since I could call myself a “young” writer, but even after decades of practice, my work still benefits from an extra set of eyes. While it is frustrating to walk away from a critique session with more red ink than typeface on our pages, that’s the best way we, as writers, can learn from our mistakes (as well as the mistakes of the others in our critique groups). It’s not necessary to be snarky about it; there are polite ways to offer constructive criticism. One of my critique partners calls me on it every time I screw up the characters’ perspectives. All he has to say is, “Janet, POV.” And I get it. As a writer and a freelance editor, I know all too well that mistakes creep into my work that I would mark up if I were editing someone else’s writing. All too often, our eyes and our brains conspire to make us overlook our own errors. I look at it this way: If someone points out flaws in my work, it’s nothing more than a signal for me to take a closer look. The writer always makes the final decision. Critique partners and editors only make suggestions.
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Yes, exactly! I wrote this after I submitted a short story for critique and no one made much comment of it. I knew that it had problems and I needed help, but they more so patted me on the back than anything. It was frustrating! I’ve since been looking for a new group. Lol
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You are correct and you should feel deceived. If you’ve written something that sucks, or is hard to read because of grammar, or you use 20 words rather than four to say the same thing, you should be told. Writing is not merely putting words on pages, but having the words communicate something – story, setting, characters. And where do story, setting and characters come from? Your imagination. If your imagination has those flaws, and you are unaware, you’ll write nothing worth reading. You can correct all that. Note the college professor is wrong; he likely has no imagination. Shaw’s aphorism is correct: Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.
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Right, luckily I had a different professor my last year of college who was a lot my more honest and straightforward.
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Indeed, you hit the mark. Well stated,
Warmest regards, Ed (deartedandjody)
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Thank you!
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Exactly what I needed!! So much love.
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Reblogged this on Life on the Coosa River.
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Reblogged this on James Harrington's Blog of Geek and Writing and commented:
The hard truth we all sometimes need.
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Reblogged this on Professor Porkchops' Lab.
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Reblogged this on Toby Backman and commented:
Reblogged: True words. Being honest with yourself,constantly assessing your abilities, striving to improve every aspect of you writing is what makes professional writers, not sheer talent.
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