Everyone’s guilty of trying too hard when it comes to writing.
Trying too hard doesn’t mean “trying to succeed and use the best language,” it means, “I want the reader to feel or think something, but instead of playing with language I’m going to put it all out there.”
Often, the sentences that are try-hard seem out of place in the midst of normal prose.
We first learn how to do it when attempting to hit the word requirement for some college essay. We call it the fluff. The unnecessary. Now, before you think that that should fall under the ‘not trying hard enough’ category, think back.
You have 500 words missing from a 2000-word paper and you’ve gone back and added as much as you could. Now what? Not trying would cause you to leave it as is and cross your fingers that the professor doesn’t notice. (I’ve also done this. Thankfully it’s worked in my favor.)
But trying too hard is creating sentences that haven’t earned their space on the paper. They are often repetitive and overzealous with language. “Maybe if I use big words, they won’t notice I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
In fiction it’s a bit different. I did say we only first learned how to try too hard while writing essays.
Ever roll your eyes at something written in a book? The author was probably trying too hard. Like, in teen novels when two characters fall in love on page two. The author was trying too hard to make a cute couple and trying to speed up the story at the same time.
Sometimes trying too hard is being overly flowery or pushing an aspect into the story that doesn’t belong (but you want it to).
Most importantly, it’s when you don’t earn it. Want to use flowery words? You have to earn it by fashioning your story to not seem cheesy when those words pop up. Want something to happen in your story? Don’t force it, be patient.
Here’s my own example: “Death is the father of regret, the brother of sorrow, and the friend of anger.”
I will defend myself and say the line isn’t awful, but where I had it in my story was. First chapter, somewhere on the second page. I was trying so hard to convey a point that I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t earned.
My readers would have just met the main character–they aren’t invested yet. So, no matter how much I thought that line was powerful, it falls flat in a story where the reader isn’t invested in the character yet.
Trying too hard in poetry is another ballgame all together. Maybe I’ll talk about that one day when I learn how to stop trying so hard myself. Ha.
Memoir of a Writer 
I love that line, but you’re right. It’s all about where you put it.
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Haha thanks. I fought for it initially, then I realized that my critics were right.
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Did you find anywhere else to put it?
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I save it in a document where my other “maybe one day” one liners are. I think I’ll use it one day, but no I haven’t yet.
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I have notes on my phone like that.
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Preach it, sister!
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Being obvious vs being subtle. When you have a theme you want to ensure the reader gets and understands, being obvious is way too easy. “Damn it, global warming is real!” I think starting out was have lots of ideas we want to convey and initially, simply stating them feels right.
As we learn, it’s generally not the best way to convey concepts and intents.
I think we might picture that we, as writers, are teachers. The old adage, telling isn’t teaching : told isn’t taught, comes to mind. How might we apply this? If we merely nudge students/readers, if we approach a subject from the side, allude to conditions and conclusions that may or may not be correct. And then when enough information, a sufficient set of clues, fills their minds, CLICK! They come up with the idea on their own. A student rationalizing their own answer learns. A reader discovering the intent of the writer, on their own, continues to read.
And, as you explain, we learn the wrong way early on. “John loves Stacey. Period!” Not, “John collects tiny objects throughout his day. When he thinks of Stacey, he picks up whatever is near, a rubberband, a nail, a shiny pebble and puts in his pocket. He saves them for later when he can mention that while he was thinking of her, he picked up those items as tokens of adoration.”
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Well put! 😊
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my poetry flows much better when it comes from a meaningful place. if i try to force it, it just doesnt sound or mean the same. nice write up.
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Thanks! Appreciate it.
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Just a tip on the class paper example (from a writing tutor/instructor): if you’re coming up that short, one or more of the following is usually the case
a) you haven’t gone into enough depth
b) you need to add more evidence (and/or interpretation of evidence)
c) your topic is too narrow for the project size.
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Writing essays, poetry, novels, flash fiction all require a different skill set. I’m all up for trying to hard and then rewriting. It’s all part of the experience. Lovely post.
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Yeah I try too hard all the time and the edit it out later! It’s juat recognizing what it is 😊
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Great advice.
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“But trying too hard is creating sentences that haven’t earned their space on the paper. ” I will remember this line when creating my next gems. 🙂
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Great post, Zarah!
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Thank you! 😊
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